so today basically confirmed it....i miss you...ur gone...kinda...havent been home in 3 weeks, ur mom says. however she told me your thinking more and more about going back to school, which i cant be more proud of you for, get your life back on track, u can do anything you want to, i believe in you and always will! you have it in you to become something great! (ah, im slowly strarting to sound like a teacher!) but seriously, i love you and you can do it if you try. i wont lie to you, it wont be easy, but i will be here to help every step of the way, if you need it. back in the day, our freshman year when i was having a horrible year, u were there for me, every step of the way and i wanna help you in any way i can, so you can reach your dreams. altough, we dont see each other as much as we did, i still care about you as much as i did when we spent each and every day with each other. I hope soon, ul drive back home so we can meet up, or we can find a half way point and meet somewhere...i miss you..you know that!
anyway...not much going on..i update less and less because i have so much hw to do. i need a break. a vacation far away for a long time. Cant wait for my 21st bday, were trying to plan a nice girls get away, leaning towards going to the bahamas. schools getting tough, hating nj more and more with each day. i think im ready for a change in my life. I want to move to Florida. seriously, like that song..i think ill start it over, start a new life, where no one knows my name...except i want to go to FL and not boston...lol...maybe one day what we talked about back in highschool, will come true...if it happens ill settle for just my pink kitchen, you can pick the colors of the other rooms just like we planned...heck..id be so happy to be in FL and have my best friend back that the walls could be painted bright green and i wouldnt care!!
o and on another note...what in the world were you thinking when you told me to dress up as the girl from hairspray. Have you looked in the mirror lately? i dont know who you think you are..but that was something i will never forget...its was totally disrespectful and un called for and wrong on so many levels..how can you say something like that to one of your best friends? i cant wait to see how long it takes you to realize somethings up...and btw i dont want to go to your fake colleges fake prom...please grow up......your in college, and i swear some of my elementary students are more grown than you...wake up and smell the coffee....you have no right to say the things you do, and what you told me put it over the top..i dont think ul ever understand how much you hurt me...and this is yet another reason why i cant let him go..not once has he ever made a comment about my weight or the way i look. he told me i was beautiful and loved me for the way i was...always made me feel the best about myself. maybe he really is the only true friend i will every have....
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