tears, what else is new?

im sick and tired of being walked all over. i just dont understand. i really need to just stop caring, show him how it feels but i never will. i do so much for you and all i get in return is treated like crap. i dont understand how someone could treat another person, who they say is one of their bestfriends the way you treat me. i feel like im kept around, im your last resort, and i dont want to be that girl for you. i want you to want to hang out with me, not feel like you have to every once in a while in hopes that its gets me off your back for a couple weeks. i dont want to be that friend to you that you keep around because you cant get rid of me. i want to be someone who you truly chersish the firendship we have together. about a year and a half ago i could say i was that person, now i have no idea. its so hard to let the days go when we used to talk on the phone for hours every night, tell each other everything, and were insepreable. i no things change and people change, but i really thought are friendship was special, something that could withstand time, and everything that would come are way. i constanlty analyze in my head what i could have done to cause our friendship to be how it is today. and im tired of doing that. i wish i could stop, treat you like anyone of the other friends that i have, but its so hard, and i think part of that has to do with the fact that before i felt like you were the one true friend i could every have. i knew i could go to you, so many tears i cryed you wiped them away. what happens now, when your the one causing me the tears falling from my eyes? i dont know what to do anymore, i want to tell you how i feel but i cant. and no matter how hard i get hurt each and every time, i dont know what it will take for me to learn.